Whether you're a parent considering divorce or have never been married, there may come a time when a child custody dispute arises between you and your child or children's other parent. If that happens, you may wonder if going to court is the right approach. After all, while family courts in Illinois and elsewhere in the U.S. are focused on the best interest of the children, the fact is that court battles are designed to be adversarial and the process itself can actually promote conflict.
There is another way. If you basically trust the other parent, consider the benefits of collaborative law, a type of alternative dispute resolution designed to take advantage of the best aspects of a courtroom resolution while playing down its adversarial nature.
"Given our situation, there was no reason to fight. We just wanted the best option for our children and for our family," says a woman who discovered collaborative law after she and her husband of 18 years agreed to move on.
"Our attorneys gave us guidance and counsel and advice. They were our co-pilots. [She and her husband] were in the driver's seat the entire time," she explained. "When we finished the process and everything was said and done, we were like well, 'We got exactly what we wanted. It was a good feeling.'"
As opposed to heading to court with a win-or-lose mentality, collaborative law sets the goal for both parties of resolving the dispute with the least emotional and financial damage possible. At the same time, you can be represented by an attorney, child custody experts can be brought in, and your agreement can be brought to court for approval, so it's enforceable.
An essential part of collaborative law is that all of the participants -- both parents and both of their attorneys -- agree from the beginning to cooperate and work toward a resolution. While it's true that you can still go to court if you can't reach an agreement, none of the discussions you had in the collaborative law process can be used as evidence.
Perhaps most important for the process, if you can't reach an agreement in collaborative law, the attorneys who represented you there can't be involved in any subsequent litigation. That gives the lawyers a strong incentive to avoid unnecessary disputes and move directly toward a resolution that satisfies both parents.
"A lot of people look at divorce as the death of a family," the woman who succeeded with collaborative law says. "We still have a family."
Source: wistv.com, "Collaborative Divorce lets couples split with dignity," Heather Biance, Feb. 14, 2013
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